Real life 

Iv broken up with many boys in my life. I think I’m scared. Scared of being hurt again. Scared of letting anyone close enough. My relationships have been a pattern of 3 month relationships over the last 4 years. Every time I make up an excuse about why it won’t work, or what I dislike in them, or how they do this it that weirdly etc etc.

I went to a shrink once, trying to understand my behavior. His response? After 3 months you have to let your guard down, you start to get real and the mask starts to wear off. 

I wonder what happened in my life that I’m so guarded? Even before my ex husband and I got together, I must have broken up with him a gazillion times. Is it because my folks got divorced and my dad couldn’t care about seeing us or paying maintenance? (We only talk once or twice a year over fb for bday wishes) Is it because my moms next boyfriend was a drug addict and there were constant fights in our home? I wish I could get down to the bottom of it. 


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